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Defribrillator--PSOH, Leon, D, rated G

Author: pink_bagels
Rating: G
Summary: Leon and D have a little talk about global warming.

As Leon sat on D's ornate couch, laptop humming before him and a furiously plumed bird pecking at his scalp, he wondered just when it was that D had turned into a Republican. Leon closed his eyes and took a rude gulp of tea before setting the overly dainty cup on the coffee table in front of him. His sneakers were perched on its surface, leaving little bits of earth on the otherwise spotless furnishing.

A furious slap at his heels nearly made Leon drop his laptop. He looked up from the screen to see D frowning down at him, his little cherry mouth pressed in fury. Inwardly, Leon grinned. That little mouth was fun to watch when it was mad.

“Whoa...” Leon thought. “What the hell am I thinking? This is about politics not the guy's mouth!”

Leon reluctantly lowered his feet to the floor as D furiously cleaned the surface of the coffee table with a damp rag. “Household cleaners are bad for the environment, you know,” Leon reminded him.

“My dear Detective, El Nino has none of the destructive power of you.”

The air in the pet shop is thick with the scent of sweet incense, the animals strangely quiet, save for the bird of paradise that was now troubling the collar of Leon's t-shirt. Leon sighed, and turned the DVD program off of his laptop and opened the DVD player. The movie lay innocently enough in its centre, said El Nino staring up at him like the earth's cataract.

“You could have at least watched the whole thing,” Leon said. He slipped 'An Inconvenient Truth' back into its one hundred and ten percent environmentally friendly sleeve and tossed it to one side.

D shrugged. “I know how it ends,” he said.

“Know it all,” Leon grumbled under his breath. The bird of paradise picked at his forehead and he raised a hand to shoo it away. “You'd think for once you'd be happy as hell to see I'm taking some interest in the damn environment.” Leon shut off his laptop, his face the picture of resentment. “Sure, Al Gore is on the campaign trail with this, but hell, at least he's got a point about this global warming stuff...”

D was pensive for a long moment, made all the more poignant by the silence that crept into the pet shop. D's face was a mask of stoic understanding, his long nails draped against the white skin of his neck. “You cannot make alive that which is already dead,” he said.

Leon crossed his arms, already feeling pissed. “If you're going to hand me a lecture...”

“All I am saying, my dear detective, is that this little problem...one that has been clearly evident for nearly a hundred years...is nothing more than a defibrillator.”

Leon frowned. “A what?”

“Defibrillator, Detective. A device used to send an electric shock to the heart in the hopes it will begin to beat again.”

“Oh, that thing. Yeah, I've had my own share of shocks from that more than once.” He absently rubbed the surface of his chest, memory giving his skin a scorched sensitivity.

Leon sighed, and let his hand drop away, his palm hot on the cushion of the ornate couch. The bird of paradise began picking at his laptop, managing to wriggle loose the power button. The tiny piece of plastic dropped to the floor with a nearly indiscernible 'ping'.

“So what are you saying?” Leon said. “The earth's having a coronary?”

“No,” D replied. His cheongsam swished against the front of his legs as he moved closer to the couch. 'Strange,'Leon thought. 'I could have sworn it was just red, but now it looks like it has flames and clouds all over it...'

“For decades, the earth has been trying to tell humans that their actions are destroying them. But humans are prideful, and take industry's belching pollution into the skies as a badge of ingenuity and honour. It seems in the last few decades that human beings are happy to hurtle towards death, destroying forests and making their water supply undrinkable. Humans, unlike other species, are willing to commit personal genocide in a misguided effort to be 'special'.” D's face was a mask as he poured Leon a cup of tea, the barest trace of an eerie smile playing on his soft lips. “Humans have disconnected themselves from the earth. Let's face it, Detective, humans are physically weak creatures—they are unable to move and care for themselves as infants, taking years to properly develop. They have no horns to protect themselves from predators, and while they are predators themselves humans do not have claws, nor very sharp teeth to render flesh. Without the use of tools, humans are the runts of the planet. The earth, when humans were born, took pity on your soft weakness. She gave you the talent to change your environment, to use it in original ways to ensure survival. I believe your success had surprised her, and for a time she rewarded you with ample food and shelter.

But now, human pride has cast aside the love the earth had for them. She can no longer hear the heartbeats of these billions of creatures, and of course, the earth searches for her favourite children. The earth is in a panic, for she suddenly cannot hear her most vulnerable creation. They have vanished.”

Leon frowned as a waft of incense met his eyes, its scent masked by a strange, black smoke, reminiscent of burnt coal. “So, all this global warming stuff is just because humans are playing hide-and-seek on the earth? Puh-lease...You can think of a better fairy tale than that.”

“She cannot reach the heart of her children. Is there any pain more severe than the rejection of an ungrateful child? There is, when that stubborn nature brings about the child's death. My dear Detective, the earth is fighting for the human soul, she is trying to find the beat of her children's hearts. She is a good mother, one who will do anything to protect her children, even if it means her own destruction.”

Leon scratched his head, confused. “But...if the earth keeps this stuff up then we'll all be dead anyway. Even though she's trying to shock us, as you say, she's going to kill us doing it.”

“She has done this before,” D reminded him.

“Yeah, but that was millions of years ago and...”

“All of her children of that age lay encased forever in her embrace. Bone turned to rock, not dust, her touch loving and soft over the bones of her first born. Inside of her skin, she mourns them, as she will one day mourn you.”

D collected the cup of now cold tea beside the laptop. The bird of paradise had made away with the laptop's power cord and was now sitting on its nearby perch, the long black plug swinging like a pendulum beneath it. D's cheongsam shimmered in the near darkness, silver storms swirling over his hips and across his back, like the white of a god's eyes.

“It's not too late,” Leon replied, sullen. “Things can change.”

“Yes. Things can. But human beings never will.”

With tea tray in hand D disappeared into the recesses of his shop. Leon sat morose in front of his now powerless laptop, a sense of hopelessness invading his being. He grabbed his jean jacket off the chair beside the couch and snatched up his laptop. To hell with this shit, he was going to hop in his car and drive home.

The night air hit him as he left the shop. It was full of odd chemicals, diesel fuels and left an odd smoky sensation on his throat, as though the air had been burning and poisonous ashes lay thick inside of it.

He held his key at the car door, his hand paused.

Then again...Maybe he would walk home. For one night Leon Orcot wouldn't be the cause of greenhouse gases—Or the breaking of the earth's heart.

A drop in the bucket is always the start.

The air was silent as he walked the two blocks back to his apartment, no birds, no dogs barking, no trees whispering beneath moonlight. Her children were truly silent. With a sickening feeling in his gut, he suddenly realized that D was wrong. The earth wasn't searching them out, she wasn't panicking for her lost children, she wasn't screaming out into the silence to bring them back to her.

She already assumed they were dead.



Ooh. I know how it ends made me snicker and D's story about the Earth is great. Leon's revelation at the end is wonderfully spooky. Very nice!
Ooooo, very nice. D was so vivid here. So scary in his wisdom. And the last line was great.
*wide eyes*

That last line *is* just...guh. Perfect.

That is so...so...so perfectly *real*. I can *hear* them having this conversation. D's story totally gave me chills. The whole thing about the dinosaurs, and how they're wrapped in her skin forever...fossils suddenly make sense. Hell, *everything* suddenly makes sense!

*wishes fiercely that D were her environmental science teacher*

Hi, I notice you friended me. Was just wondering, do i know you RL?

Thank you. This is really wonderful )

Could you tell me, was it ever translated into Russian? If no, I would be pleased to try )
Thank you so much for your kind comment! By all means, translate away! :D
I say what I think, and just very-very like it ))
How cruel of you)) But still))))))))))))