Longitude--chapter nine (potc fic, Beckett, OFC, Norrington, rated PG)
Title: Longitude
Chapter: nine
Author: pink_bagels
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Norrington, Beckett, OFC
Summary: Terms and Conditions. The business of Mother.


Longitude--chapter nine

"Cutler Beckett and James Norrington,"

"As partners in the franchise of Mother, please be advised that you have waived all litigation, both future and past, and as such have absolved Mother of all obligation towards your health, welfare and safety. Should a litigation be issued against Mother, you hereby waive all profits, both future and past, incurred by the use of Mother and such monies as Mother deems must be paid in penalty."

"As the insertion of new recruits has been implemented, Mother would like it to be made aware that all vacation requests are to be suspended until further notice."

"Cutler Beckett and James Norrington--Welcome to Mother. Mother is a private company that operates on a franchise basis. She provides historical accuracy and documentation for all interested parties and investors and is open to both government and private interests.

The contract of your term with Mother is calculated on a costs interred basis. As you have opted to utilise Mother's top model for use, and as you are new recruits into Mother's employ, the former sum due under Larry--40, 000 pounds--has now been adjusted to reflect the start-up cost of employment. Cutler Beckett and James Norrington, you have a combined grand total of 238, 999, 008, 756, 459, 111, 893, 008, 090, 641.13 pounds profit to earn to ensure the costs of partnership start-up and Mother's general maintenance are covered. All monies earned after this sum are yours for the keeping, however, Mother does reserve the right to adjust the original figure to match costs incurred during routine assignments, which may or may not include the following:

i: Reconstructive surgery as a result of torture, maiming, general injury or attempted murder.
ii: Resuscitation as required upon the event of near drowning, heart failure or miscellaneous health and outside environmental issues. CPR must be administered by a trained professional, otherwise additional costs will be incurred. Please note that blood-letting and poultice treatments are not considered medical procedures, and all injuries as a result of such methods are heavily penalized by Mother.
iii: Mother does not cover burns, scrapes, bruises or gun-shot wounds. Stab wounds are covered, but please be advised that this is wholly dependent upon the size and number of stitches required. (The wound can be no more than a minimum of four inches, with a maximum eight stitches). Disinfectants and treatment of the wounds are the responsibility of the bearer.
iv: Illnesses incurred due to communicable diseases are not covered by Mother, and treatment for such must come out of earnings gained on assignments. This includes, but is not limited to: colds, flu, sexually transmitted diseases, flesh eating viruses, brain eating viruses, rashes, dysentery, cholera, diphtheria, bubonic plague, syphilis, leprosy, mad cow disease, tuberculosis, smallpox, etc., etc. Mother reserves the right to include all unknown future and past diseases that may or may not be evident upon exploration of their respective environments."

"Assignments are based on a per customer request, though it is recommended that additional consideration for possible future customer wants be considered in all travels. The penalties for incomplete assignments are under the jurisprudence of Mother, and comprises of fines for the costs incurred for the pursuit of said assignments. Mother is not responsible for incarceration due to the perceived thievery of requested objects, as it is Mother's strict policy to only obtain those objects from assignments which have been obtained through legal means, i.e.: becoming public use after disposal. (Please see Mother's accompanying orientation manual: "Why You Should Listen To Your Mother", pages 35,899-35,900.)

"Cutler Beckett and James Norrington--Welcome to Mother's family!"